Monday, October 26, 2009

52 Reasons Why it's Great to Be Single

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Forget the home-alone image of sad singleton women curled up on the sofa longing for a hug. Independent women everywhere know that being single is something to celebrate. Here's why?






  1. We don't have to fight for remote control ownership.
  2. We don't have to wash their smelly socks and skiddy underwear.
  3. There are no pairs of shoes left in the middle of the floor to trip over at six in the morning.
  4. We can lie in the bath for as long as we want.
  5. We don't put a wash on and then find ten articles of clothing belonging to him lying in heap in the corner of the bedroom.
  6. We don't have to fake an orgasm.
  7. We don't have to shave and can turn into yetis if we want.
  8. We don't have to buy and write our own Valentines/birthday/Mother's day cards.
  9. We don't have anyone saying 'you're not going to wear that, are you?'
  10. We don't have to suffer their cooked meals and then spend an hour trying to get the burnt, congealed mess of the bottom of our saucepans.
  11. I love not being accountable to anyone - if I want to do something, I just do it!
  12. I control my finances and if I screw up, it's my fault, not because my man has spent money we need down the pub, bookies, etc.
  13. I enjoy sleeping in my double bed and having it all to myself.
  14. I can be moody without anyone trying to find out if something's wrong! If I don't want to talk - I just won't!
  15. I have FREEDOM to choose.
  16. I love it now my pillows are a dribble free zone.
  17. I love waking up and not hearing the sound of snoring.
  18. I love going out and not having to say where I've been or what I've been doing and what time I should be back.
  19. I love going shopping and not having to hide what I've bought in the wardrobe and pretend I've had it ages.
  20. I love being able to have control over what I spend and where I spend it.
  21. After being married for 23 years (now separated six months) I also find it kind of scary to go out now that all the restrictions have been lifted...its like being a teenager again. Weird. I feel like I have been let out of prison.
  22. You can tell him what you really think instead of keeping the peace.
  23. You can be rude to his family.
  24. You can eat what YOU want.
  25. You can join a gym because you want to.
  26. You can be rude to his boss.
  27. I can have my friends over to drink wine and behave outrageously WHENEVER I want (because he never liked those friends anyway!).
  28. I can open the curtains when I get dressed instead of fumbling about in the dark trying to keep quiet.
  29. I don't have to worry about what sort of food to buy because he never liked any of it anyway. Now I can eat whatever, whenever I choose.
  30. I'm not made to feel like an idiot for sitting on the Internet - I can surf to my hearts content.
  31. I can listen to Depeche Mode 24/7!
  32. I can spend all night on the phone without having to justify it.
  33. I go to bed when I please, not when he 'wants to'. I can read all night and have the radio on.
  34. There's no one to criticize the state of my car!
  35. There's plenty of space in the wardrobe.
  36. I don't have to appear interested in his job.
  37. I no longer spend hours looking excited in computer stores or car showrooms, do not need to admire mobile phones, personal organizers, latest gadgets...
  38. I can make a mess, and never tidy it up.
  39. I can drink wine out of a mug.
  40. I don't have to write cards on his behalf for birthdays or Christmas.
  41. I no longer have to excuse his behavior - OR MINE!!!
  42. You can do a smelly fart without being told it's 'unladylike'.
  43. You are entitled to an opinion!
  44. You don't have to satisfy yourself while he's in the bath to make up for the fact he couldn't manage to give you an orgasm in the first place.
  45. You don't have to like Starsky and Hutch/Dads Army/Airwolf.
  46. You don't have to watch the '10 minute free view' on the Playboy Channel with the sound turned down.
  47. You don't have to take being called a 'man hater' just because you disagree with what he says (let's face it, they're usually always wrong anyway).
  48. You can wear the same knickers for two or three days without caring that there might be a 'spontaneous going down' session on the cards.
  49. You can love Adam Ant, Boy George, Simon le Bon and David Sylvian without being lectured that only gay men look that good - THREATENED!
  50. You don't have to listen to him hyperventilating every time a Kylie Minogue video appears on MTV.
  51. You don't have to worry about your sanitary towel not flushing away properly.
  52. BONUS: You don't have to pad the toilet with bog roll to disguise the fact that the poo is gonna make a big splash.

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